I swear to Godzilla I was going to write a Blog every goddamn week but you know... Being El Lagarto has never been easy. All the chicks want you and if you once say no you wake up with a gag-ball in your mouth, chained to some pipes in a dark cellar. I guess I don't have to mention the horrible pains in your crotch. Crazy bitches. LOVE YA'LL!!! Well now after two weeks in the clinic I'm finally able to write again, so let's get it on.
A lot happened. First of all, I have to announce my Coming Out... Yes, some of you allready knew it, now it's official. I'm not ashamed of it anymore and even my parents understand. They somehow like it by the way... Wait a sec, I get a call....
Hey mom... yepp... yepp... all in the laundry... yepp... No mom you know I don't like beeing coupled... what?!? No Mom wait... I didn't mean... Coming Out means WHAT?!? Mom, I have to go. Seriously. NOW, Bye...
Weeeeeeell... Choice of words... Craaaaaazy stuff... You remember the funny coincidence the other day when I said coming out but instead meant hatched? Dude that were crazy times... Mixing up words and stuff... God damned zilla now I have to print all the covers for the first EP again... Oh wait! Now I remember!
That was the News! Listen up folks! Me "EL LAGARTO" is proud to present you the incredible release of the first but most epic EP of the unbelievable, worldchanging next generation supergroup BLACK LIZARD!!! I'm running out of superlatives right now, so let me just say it's not that bad as the style of advertising lets suggest! I will definitely get one! The EP is called "HATCHED" and will be available at... will be available in... will be available! So come and get some! If you are a friend of us, you already know us and will get your copy next week! If you don't know us but like us write us and you will get your copy next week. If you don't know us and don't like us you will get your copy next week, listen to it and then know us. And if you know us but don't like us... go to hell. But before you will get your copy next week. So everybody is happy!
Speaking of "liking us". Last practice we played some of our new stuff (wich is even more mind blowing than the tracks on our first EP "HATCHED" coming next week so don't miss!) when all of a sudden some strangers entered our practice room and said: "Hey we were in the 'restaurant' right next door eating when we heard your sound... May we listen a bit to your stuff?". That was... crazy! So we gave a little private concert, wich we... damn we enjoyed it! Loved it! And they did too! So we gained fans while we practiced... From now on we will never ever close the window again! Even if it's -30°! So if it's wednesday and you're feeling hungry and would kill for some hot blondies on ice if you know what i mean... Maybe you're lucky and the 'restaurant' you're in is the ONE...
But if you're not into lottery and stuff just come to our gig at the OETTINGER VILLA in february. More infos about that soon right here. Maybe we have some more gigs this year but it's not sure so I don't talk about it. I just would mix things up again and in the end I'd find myself awkwardly sit there with my parents, dating a horse or something...
So long and with a cheering "zzzzZZzzzZzzzzzzZZzz"
el lagarto
